| 14 Apr 2003 19:57 xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx |
*Its 3am and my mind is a mess
All I can think about are these feelings I must
I release my tension
through these rhymes that I right
I try not to think of you,
I fuss and I fight,
How can you do this to me?
Just get up and leave
and not care that I grieve?
Do you not have any feelings?,
Or does it make you feel proud to speak to me with
When I drink my feelings are like yours
As the drink starts wearing off
The memory of your face lingers in my mind & thought
I remember the good times but also the times that we
My feelings for you are mixed & rearranged
anger and pain vrs.
sadness and rage
Often I have the urge to want to through a fist
towards your face
toward your heart
I feel my anger my pain
will never leave
Often I want to spoon you in your bed
massage your body
kiss your face
OK enough said...
I know you don't care or can't relate
because you do not feel,
you are not real...
I haven't seen you my best friend in so long,
it feels like a bad nightmare,
Wake me up God
I hear the same sad song
I see the same bad scene
Of once together now alone
What happen to you my support the one I could lean?
I go out with my girls now
we glow we beam
Men drool as we enter the scene
but at the end of the night when I turn out the light
I lie awake
These feelings I can't fake...
You say I am just used to you
You say our love was never true
I say for now or maybe for good it is best
that we are single
I am learning how to mingle
because I now understand you never understood
How I felt,
maybe are relationship was a 5 year illusion
When I write my feelings it is easier to come to
you were & are so insensitive
You laughed as you told me its over
its the end!
Your the one who cheated on me
Your the one who wants to be free
Your the one who left me blue
I'm the one that is trying to act cool
but instead our roles will now reverse
I am becoming stronger, I am refusing this curse
You are not even mature enough to except me as a
You don't even have the heart to embrace and mend
Thank you boy' for treating me like you do
Thank you sir' you are making it so easy for me
to forget you
leave the memories behind
label you as "the past"
for the betta
In due time I am going to train myself to think I neva
Your not even good enough for me (lol)
there are plenty of guys that are open armed willingly
In due time you will be left out
you will be successful with out a doubt
but will you live happily?
Will some else fill you completely?
you will yearn for my love one day
I will be out of sight you will be out of my mind
this I pray
Once you realize your mistake
Its just going to be a little to late...
these are my very last words to you'
I am sorry it had to end this way,
I am sorry to say'
your a boy
who is a shadow to your environment
In life it is a requirement
to be your own person
This is how you truly succeed
to feel love is how you are freed
before its to late....
I don't think you have it in you
You don't have what it takes...*