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 forums : Jungle Scene

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kamala

  power user
  hermit
 1 Feb 2008 03:49   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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is love really enough ?



Love is probably the most powerful thing someone can experience. and theres the ever famous "all you need is love" philosophy.. but when it comes to actual real life, is love really enough to hold together a relationship ?

What about all the logistics of living, of communication, of fear, and of intimacy ? All of these things can become jumbled and get in the way of love flow.

I guess each person has their personal limitations but is it worth it to try to work through a relationship ? When is it time to give up ?

People teach you not to give up on your career or on your future or whatever but when it comes to love and relationships and even friendships, people seem to drop each other like an atom bomb. The idea of sticking together because you love each other just seems like something people put aside for frustration to run the game. i'm not sure if anyone even allows themselves to feel love these days let alone share it with another openly and regardless of circumstance.

But when you do end up feeling love for somebody but you keep running into conflict, is love worth suffering for, or is it hopeless if the technicalities of the relationship don't mesh ? Is love enough to make it better? Is love really enough to make it work ?

kamala

  power user
  hermit
 1 Feb 2008 03:50   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

ps. drum and bass

korkor54

  js regular
  dancer
 1 Feb 2008 06:57   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

Love isnt a enough... better know how to give good blow jobs!! JHa

insurgence

  new poster
  dj
 1 Feb 2008 08:11   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

Thats some deep s**t.....

Keep listening to dnb and life will be ok

formerlymelicious

  js regular
 1 Feb 2008 08:35   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

in a word .... no

Love is amazing but relationships are work. If things aren't working no amount of love is going to fix it. In that case love really is working against you because if you didn't have any you would be able to see the situation for what it is. Love is something that will hold a relationship together long enough so you can try to work it out but its the work that will save it, not love.

dj.com

  hardcore
  producer
 1 Feb 2008 10:01   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

imo - love is built by putting in that work and ones willingness to combine two lives. love is not just immediatly there, that is infatuation or lust. love is something that is worked at overtime. alot of people use the word out of context in my opinion. love is more of a way of being with another person than an emotion. sure, you can be in love. but what has it taken to get to that point??? love is work, bottom line. if you feel like your not willing to put in that work, your not in love. there may be other feelings there confusing the matter further...s**t I know a couple people that are together, hate each other, but the sex is good so they stay......the definition of love means something different to everyone I guess...

jigsaw

  hardcore
  dancer
 1 Feb 2008 10:27   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

love is enuff to conquer all.

but why fight sometimes?

why suffer needlessly for some trivial hormonal imbalance or crush you have right now?

why work for mr. right when you can just dispose of mr. right now like so many one day contact lens...

why, because you want to!

because you need to!

because you know this is what matters somewhere deep in your gut and you make it happen because it's hard work but it's a worthwhile effort.

love is awesome, and when its gone the void is something horribly fantastic.

some emptiness that seems to never have the ability of going away that time chips into the widdled aftermath surrounding the statue that is you.

if you want it to be, love is enuff. is it worth it?

if you are asking yourself these questions i'm thinking it may not be, because you would know otherwise.

but maybe you are just being overly practical and overthinking this thing.

love and practicality do not chill hand in hand 24-7.

ask yourself the question and listen to your answer.

missanita

  hottie
  subscriber
 1 Feb 2008 10:53   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

dj.com really said it. That is a mature view of love.

Love is a way of being. Attachment is a whole different thing. Love is giving, not needy. First and foremost, love yourself. Also, for me, loving someone really means wanting them to have what they want for themselves. If that means they want to do things I don't agree with, that's okay. I can just love them from really far away if I don't want that influence in my life.

jigsaw

  hardcore
  dancer
 1 Feb 2008 11:15   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

a great black belt martial artist has his black fade back to white with time.

a mature view does not mean you are not susceptible to that lovey duvvy, kiss kiss.

kamala

  power user
  hermit
 1 Feb 2008 12:46   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?



I am referring to real love, the kind you have already worked and suffered for. the kind where a conflict resolved results in a stronger closeness and intimacy. the kind that has brought joy into your life far more then pain. The kind that has been built through time and experience.

The presence of love and even the willingness to work might not always mean that the relationship will function well. Sometimes logistics get in the way. Sometimes people have strong subconscious forces driving them. sometimes fear is so powerful it reigns over any feelings of love and people react harshly to frustration etc. . People are clumsy with words and really use them as weapons.

and i think people do not value intimacy and emotion as much as we should. When you are close and intimate with someone and build a connection with them. there is a reason you are making yourself vulnerable to this person, they have something to offer your life and vise verse, you grow close to them and realistically, not ideally, but REALISTICALLY, when you love somebody you become attached to them. That is just human nature and seems to have a purposeful role in the raising of children. This of course is not a sole reason to stay with someone, but love can be reason enough if you are both willing to stay and focus on loving each other through things instead of walking away in the heat of an argument. It seems like people are quick to drop each other like an atom bomb. The second any conflict or negative emotion comes up someones out the door with the quickness. There is very little concept of investing in our relationships in our culture. It's okay for us to just jump from one person to another. Or to just f**k each other and have it be meaningless (which it never EVER truly is). People tend to jump into it with each other too and then bolt at the first sign of their own weaknesses being touched on.

When 2 people really genuinely deeply love each other that should be enough to make them WANT to stay regardless of what kind of trouble that entails. Usually when two people love each other that much that calms the troubles down too provided they focus on the love as a guiding force through the trouble, and not the trouble as a destructive force to the love.

But it seems people are so afraid of love and even more so of conflict that we run the second it seems we could get hurt. And its rare to see people spend the time or energy to try and work it out, to try and grow intimate and feel love in the first place, or to try and stick around when things get tough.

Divorce is too accepted as an option.
more value should be placed on the bond between people.

just some thoughts.

alan

  administrator
  nobody
 1 Feb 2008 12:52   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

god amy! You don't even no how relevant this question is for me at this moment.

I don't know.

alan

  administrator
  nobody
 1 Feb 2008 12:53   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

answer your phone.

It seems like we are thinking bout the same sort of things at the moment.

kamala

  power user
  hermit
 1 Feb 2008 13:21   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?



do not want.

still damaged.

requiemforadream

  js regular
  dj
 1 Feb 2008 16:55   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

**********
According to kamala ...

But it seems people are so afraid of love and even more so of conflict that we run the second it seems we could get hurt. And its rare to see people spend the time or energy to try and work it out, to try and grow intimate and feel love in the first place, or to try and stick around when things get tough.

**********

i feel ya kamala, keep ya head up!
love is tough. went through a break up last year. i wanted to be with her but she didn't want to meet me half way. i was holding on too tight when i just needed to let her go. i guess you really love someone when all you want for them is to be happy, even if their happiness means you're not apart of it.
"experience is a hard teacher, she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards."

unifire

  moderator
  subscriber
  dancer
 1 Feb 2008 17:06   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

anything worth keeping is worth fighting for unless its not worth your time then its just holding you back.

4_.phrantek._4

  js regular
  producer
 1 Feb 2008 17:51   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

The people we get involved with romantically are often sounding boards for learning about ourselves; this is moreso early on, when we are attempting to define our identities and determine what fulfills us in relationships. As we learn about ourselves, we can better appreciate our mates for who they are.

When we get to the point that relationships are no longer fruitful - essentially a situation involving diminishing returns for the love you have invested - we must recognize this for what it is: disharmony. It is only as bad as we choose to make it. And we make it worse when we keep trying to force something that has ceased to be a source of goodness in our lives.

I would submit to you that love is always enough, but love is NOT always. It can fade and disappear and often does if lovers do not continuously exercise intimacy and communication as a proactive means of maintaining harmony.

If it ceases to be right, it will no longer feel right. You will become distant from each other, or one will become disproportionately distant. You do not get the same feelings imagining your mate, your memories of them lose their luster. It is often at this point that we try to cling desperately to crumbling links, but desperation is unflattering and often comes across immaturely. Naturally, this tends to speed up the collapse process.

Giving up on a relationship is not necessarily fickle. Provided a general clarity of thought (as opposed to confusion between desires and feelings), one should innately feel that things need to either be corrected or ended. Understanding this leads one to make healthier future decisions in relationships and also prevents the undue and prolonged stress that is caused by our unwillingness to accept that feelings of turmoil are, in fact, completely telling.

In the end, relationship trauma is always greatly reduced if we choose someone who is right for us. Instead, most of us just choose someone who is hot or has some other bells and whistles that act as a stop-gap for deep-rooted insecurity. Then we wonder why we fight so much and our mate doesn't seem to understand us. What a waste of time that is.

Running too soon is similarly a sign of insecurity. I strongly believe insecurity is what ruins most relationships.

[ 4_.phrantek._4 - 1 Feb 2008 18:11 ]

thepoet

  neptune mommy
  dancer
 2 Feb 2008 10:37   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

I think that if love is the basis for all your decions, like pulling from a place of love, it can be a driving force.

love does not concure all. Love is not the be all end all. That is like saying one way is right for everyone. Mutual respect and consideration for your partners feelings and thoughts are monumental in successful relationships. Respect, communication and understanding can all come from places of love, so perhaps love is the driving force behind everything you do.

If you do things out of love, how can you go wrong? Even when it comes to leaving a bad relationship. You love yourself, so you make the decision to leave based out of self love.


p.s. Boh.

dj44

  js regular
 2 Feb 2008 12:22   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

love is a sub

bamr

  js regular
  crackhead
 2 Feb 2008 14:44   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

Man Im goin through some fugged up shiz with my lady/ex-lady/whatever right now too. I tried to tell her to lay off drugs and she called me "immature" and "unwilling to face reality". So right now Im giving up on love. The only advice that I can give is take your pain and frustration and use it as motivation and that time passing allows for clarity. I hope things get better for you.

teekay

  freedom fighter
  subscriber
  promoter
 2 Feb 2008 15:09   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

korkor is the only one making sense on this thread.

joshmayhem

  random title
  dj
 2 Feb 2008 15:17   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

Two peoples ability to love and live with each other is completely determined by the amount of communication, sacrifice, and compromise they are willing to give one another.

The point of an intimate relationship is to better one another. If you're not, then your simply tolerating each other for the sex.

So to answer you question, no, love is not enough.

ghetto_dave

  js regular
  designer
 2 Feb 2008 15:38   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

oh jezus....

4_.phrantek._4

  js regular
  producer
 2 Feb 2008 22:27   xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx   
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Re: is love really enough ?

One could argue that marriage is similarly too accepted as an option.

I agree that the bond is valuable. But I feel very deeply that it is a spiritual thing, and that making love into a legal situation debases it a little. Anything that needs legal documents is still essentially a business arrangement. And if it's that's all it is, you might as well just get hitched to start collecting assets together, innit?

**********
According to kamala ...



Divorce is too accepted as an option.
more value should be placed on the bond between people.

just some thoughts.

**********

 

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