forums : Neptune For Poetry

had i known



had i known
about us,
before us began ...
would i have stuck it out
or would i have ran?

had you known about us
would you even have bothered ?
or would you come prepared
and tried even harder ?

are we something that is worth
everything we have spent ?
at our best
at our worst
still intimate friends.
still feeling it strong in the end.

but still, can not pretend.

does time wear on rocks
or do rocks wear on water?
is it the sun and our circumstance,
or our skin and our dance,
that makes it so much hotter?
when our faces turn red
when our hearts have bled
is our seam too split to soder ?


had i known
how i'm hurting
and the damage bringing pause
would i continue flirting
with our cause?

had you known
you'd be biting
your tongue instead of mine
would you try fighting
for our integrity of time?

would you give up and leave
like so many times before
get mad at me for always wanting more?
get sad at me when i slam that door?
yet your door only cracked, if open at all
just one more weight on my back
one more element adding
to our fall.

had i known would i blame you ?
would i blame myself ?
would i blame god ?

would i self inflict this kind of pain ?
would i keep wearing your last name?
would i play this game ?

had you known
would you love me
or would you leave me
all the same ?

had i known
i would love you
to an infinite extent
could i have altered the path
upon which we went ?

could i have saved us?
could i still?
would you help me?
please
please
still say you will.
say again how you love me
and had you known
you'd still want me
and keep me for your own.
just say you need me.
say i am the one for you.
just say you want to be with me
and make it be the truth.


[ kamala - 1 Feb 2008 14:27 ]

Re: had i known

this f**king KILLS me right now.

How are we both so intunned. This is perfect, speaking my heart, my soul, my ache.

This is painful. It drives my emotion deeper and swirly.

This is wordless responses because of its perfection.

Re: had i known



thank you noelly

funny, i almost deleted the thread bc i thought was a s**tty poem and too personal for this board. but if it can touch someone like you it has more then served its purpose.

*bear hugg*

Re: had i known



can't believe i'm actually posting this O.O

http://foolchild.com/music/hadiknownv.3.mp3

prolly wont stick around for long.

Re: had i known

wow thats really powerful...nice!
not too personal for this at all...
I bet most of us have shared this same human experience at one time

[ missbassie - 11 Feb 2008 15:23 ]

Re: had i known

oh girl.

http://youtube.com/user/tanzaniaisdead



yep




and my gawd Amy, hearing you sing this makes the lyrics sting that much more. so so much more. Especially the end.

[ thepoet - 12 Feb 2008 09:53 ]

Re: had i known



thank you guys !!! it's nice to put yourself out there and have positive feedback and support . That's the 2nd attemp i have ever made at song writing. lol,

heres the first :

http://foolchild.com/music/something_heavy.mp3

noelly ... you have a beautifully toned voice. It really does make it more powerful to be able to hear the emotion within it. gorgeous ....

btw i got that goobers book, love it ! thanks for the great suggestion

Re: had i known

yah I'm reading it right now too. second time in about 11 years I think. Its such an amazing book.

I'm working on some more live readings of my work. I have that I'm trying to do with some house music as back up. Its hard to get it right.

Re: had i known

ooh pls let me know when you have got them going

im not even gonna try to make acoustics for my pitiful attempts at songwriting ... more of expression for therapy type of thing..

but you could be very good at spoken word mmn.

Re: had i known



somebody sampled!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/?jejdujy7j9c

Re: had i known

I LOVE IT